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On Finding God

August 20, 2012

God is everything. He created the entire universe: the earth, the sun, the moon, all the planets that circle the sun, all the millions of stars we see in the night sky, as well as the billions of galaxies. God makes the energy that powers all the atoms that form together to  make all the molecules that, in turn make up all of the objects that fills the infinite space that we see everywhere—God is a big deal. There is no getting away from that which we call God. The conundrum of the life we are all born to is that this God we are told to believe in isn’t readily apparent. The many preachers who claim that God exists tell us that we must have “faith” that God does exist and that one day when we leave this world, particularly if we live a righteous life, we will come face-to-face with our Creator. Yet, we all are tethered to this life by all the people and familiar things that are around us, and we sometimes question why this God that we cannot see has given us life in the first place.

From a very early age, I wanted to have a deep relationship with that being responsible for all the beauty I was seeing in the world and had given me the opportunity to experience it all. The Catholic tradition my family had loosely followed while I was growing up had peeked my curiosity about the things considered “a mystery” beyond that we are able to seek. Was there a God “out there” that Created me? Regrettably, the Church never answers this question. They say God does exist, and that He sent his Son… The usual answer. Exactly what it all meant—we go live in Heaven after we leave this earth. This was never a satisfactory answer for me. How do I transform my life?

Answers to my annoying questions would silently come to me toward the end of my 20s. There are many ways that people celebrate God. Many follow their own traditions that were handed down to them through many generations. Most seem to be satisfied that they follow a particular tradition and it helps them to remain stable in this world, celebrating God with their current families. They don’t feel they need to know the answers behind the “mysteries” of this world. They know in their heart that their God loves them and that they are living to the best of their abilities. Issues in my life, however, had caused me to question my very existence and question why God had given me the set of difficulties I wound up carrying—the learning disabilities. Why I had been handed the problems regarding reading and remembering information.

In my late 20s, I learned how to let go of the restlessness and worry and just let my mind be. It was time for me to take the reins of my 5 senses and to lead them in more constructive pastures. By letting go of the mundane world outside I would find a peace that was beyond words. I was sitting in a comfortable chair. I would be sitting in my quiet room, or other familiar place, but the experience was something completely new. I could no longer feel my limbs. It was like they had floated away. My back and my chest were no longer attached to me. I was free floating in a sea of bliss. My breath had slowed down substantially. I was now breathing easily and stress free. The only thing to do now is to continue sitting, letting my body absorb this inviting peace, and forget the world for a while. This was meditation. The relaxing of the body and the mind was only stage one. After that, I can think about the marvels of spirit. At that point, exactly why God existed mattered very little. It was now apparent He did exist and the spirit was all around me. Now, instead of wishing God was closer to me, I could simply whisper into His ear that I was aware of His present and that I would forever hold Him close to me.

The beauty of it all was that I could go into this meditation at any time, preferably twice a day—morning and evening—and I can continue to experience that blissful state. It only takes a short time to experience that peace. Maybe a week or two. Meditation itself doesn’t need to replace other religious traditions some people may follow. It is a separate practice designed for the individual to have a thorough experience that God is real. I, personally, have not returned to my Catholic heritage. To me, God is omnipresent and omniscient. He can’t be confined to one vehicle of expression. We must bring Him into our daily lives, which I always try to do. The spiritual road is a tough one to follow. Sometimes, I believe I a following rightly, and then other times I wonder if I am following at all. The meditation continues to bring me back and ensure me of the right path to follow.  The idea is to make an honest attempt every day.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 1, 2012 5:22 am

    I love how, your whole life before discovering meditation, you were seeking God! And you know what he did? He sought you too! And he found the best way to reach you. And you happily felt him too. That is all very wonderful. I like how you can do it twice a day. How long can you meditate now?

    By the way, I really like the intro. Very scientific, hehe. And your writing is great. Learning disabilities, they stink a lot, but they do not define the person!

    • September 1, 2012 6:55 pm

      Hi Adelle, Thank you for more of your encouraging words. You are right, I haven’t let my disabilities define me. They have defined my financial situation, which sucks, but I’m ok with that. Right now, I am focusing on getting a little job somewhere in the city to sustain me. Then, I want to concentrate on my spiritual life and my love for books–i.e., Shakespeare, Plato, even some “modern classics”. I will spend much of my free time meditating and reading. Those are the things God wants me to do. I started going to a new church in Manhattan a month ago. It is an interreligious group and a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon. There are some things in this world we cannot change, or at least I don’t know how to change them. Those we need to leave to God to handle. Currently, I meditate for 40 – 45 minutes in a sitting. That amount of time works best for me. I don’t always meditate morning and evening. I try to stick to that schedule, but not always. I am doing other things to help bring about changes. I have changed my diet to eating 80% fruit and vegetables and 20% everything else. I don’t believe in a completely meatless diet, so I continue to consume some meat. I try to stay sociably active, but it’s hard on with the month I collect. I am making efforts to become employed again. Thank you again for your response. I found another very relaxing piece of music on YouTube. It’s 30 minutes long: Give it a listen. Jay

      > Date: Sat, 1 Sep 2012 05:22:23 +0000 > To: >

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