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Life in Limbo

June 16, 2012

Waiting and waiting. Waiting for what? My life is currently in a state of limbo. I don’t want to be here. I’m going to take up writing again so that I don’t need to continually stare at blank walls. Well, I don’t really stare at blank walls. I do have a habit of staring at my clunky computer screen reading the latest headlines on or Drudge and staying up until the wee hours of the night. That is one of the reasons I like writing so much—because I can keep writing, which is a perfect activity to do into the wee hours of the night. I have stopped writing for a while because I sometime find myself at a loss of something interesting to say. I find if I walk away from it for a while and then return some month later, the good things I want to say will show up in my brain. So, here I am back again writing in my blog. I’m happy.

My main problem right now is that  have been unemployed since last October and I don’t see myself working in a “regular job” again unless I get some assistance getting the job. I don’t expect whoever is to assist me to get the job for me, but to maybe help me get some job leads, to help me prepare for an interview, or to assist in some other fashion. I have just been accepted for services with an organization called VESID. They are a state-run agency that operated in the State of New York. Their purpose for existing is to assist persons with all kinds of disabilities to become employed. I have been waiting about 4 months just to meet with a counselor. Even after being accepted for services, I now need to wait to hear from another organization, employed by VESID, to evaluate my talents. I am ready to start. I’ve already waited two weeks to be contacted by them. How much longer I need to wait my job counselor cannot tell me, but she keeps telling me to be patient. I was hoping I could be working during the summer months so that, perhaps, I would be able to be working by the fall. I’m sure I will be involved with this other organization soon. In the meantime I need to remain patient and busy. Maybe writing will help entertain me during these encroaching hot months.

I have a feeling that any work I get in the future will be laborious and a waste of good brain cells. It will be a retail sales job like the ones I did during my 20s.I understand the US economy continues to chug along; and now I am hearing on the news we could be seeing another dip in the approaching months. If I should get a low intelligent, low paying job at a local discount store, I should embrace it and be thankful to the gods in our government that I am able to pay my bills. I fully understand how special and thankful I should feel should I get that opportunity. I am being told by other persons who are ADD that I am being lazy by not working harder to become employed. Again, I do not like sitting around and staring at my laptop for many hours. I want to be productive in society. It has always been my dream—whatever the work may be. I am also being told by people at the unemployment offices that I want to make sure that I find work “that will stick”. It shouldn’t be just a sustenance job that I will leave as soon as the right opportunity comes along. It should be something I will want to put my entire being into.

This new potential opportunity to work retail in a local discount store won’t be the ideal job. It will be a job I can go to every day and serve the customers the best I can, get them the discounts they are looking for as they enter the store. Perhaps the writing I do, and the many books that I now read, will serve as my creative outlets. I would also like my writings to be useful to others who find themselves stuck with ADHD or dyslexia or some other disability holding them up from living their dreams. Technologies are allowing more people to show their creativity. Creativity flows like an energy that is buried within all persons. It is a product of the intellect. The intellect is continually working to express itself. Creativity must be encouraged from the earliest age. Perhaps all persons will fail to demonstrate the same level of creativity. But I believe creativity is like a muscle that can improve with use. Why deny people the ability to pursue their dreams? There is nothing wrong with trying, as long as people remain practical in their pursuits. I am one who will encourage to pursue whatever dream that they desire.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 18, 2012 8:54 am

    You’re wonderful. I wish the best of luck to you! I have ADD too, and I’m still in college. I read your blog post right before this one and I can relate… Last week in my 2 online classes I got pretty decent grades, and now this week was pretty bad for me because my schedules got all messed up, and I ended up with very low grades… I feel bad because I know I can do it if only my schedules hadn’t been messed up 😦 But reading your posts has made me feel better. Thank you for sharing!

    • June 24, 2012 4:55 am

      Hi. I’ve posted several more articles to my blog since you’ve sent me comments regarding previous posts. I attempted to reply to you a several times. Not sure if I was successful.

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