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Life Goes On

March 3, 2012

Spring is only three weeks away. I am looking forward to ending a winter season in New York with hardly a snowfall. While snow doesn’t bother me much, having a break from the cold slushy stuff is a welcomed alternative. Now New Yorkers are waiting for the day buds on the trees begin to open. The buds are already revealing themselfs as small fists at the ends of branches, and periodically throughout. There is a mid-sized tree looming its wild branches right outside my bedroom window. I watch the branches often to see what kind of progress it has made with its buds. Its olive-sized buds have made their appearance, though this tree doesn’t blossom until sometime in April. Maybe it will blossom early this year, since the weather has been so warm. I am hoping that the warm continues right into spring and summer.

I am chosing to remain calm and enjoy life as it is presented to me. There isn’t much I can do at this state about my financial situation. This writing is the only thing I can be doing, in the hopes that a career in writing will soon follow. Writing would be a great career, even if I only make a modest income. I practice the meditation regularly. It has provided me with the peace to be able to behave rationally even when the potential for being homeless and starving to death appears to me on the horizon. I have decided if that moment comes to openly accept it. I will not act like the clowns I see performing tricks on the subways or begging for change along the boulevards of Manhattan. Instead, I will sit out on a park bench or go somewhere I can hide from the world. Until that time, I will continue to think and write and job hunt and associate at the various MeetUp groups I am involved in. During these activities, I present my full attention to the moment at hand–remaining mindful of the present. This plan serves me well. I feel I am working toward something instead of feeling stranded and out-of-luck. As long as I believe there is a solution to my current situation, solutions will reveal themselves as continue on my path through life.

Now I’m contemplating what I want to do with the rest of my Saturday after I complete my blog post. I have some money to walk over to the Dunk’n’Donuts and enjoy a coffee and one of their chocolate chunk cookies. Those are really good. One of my favorite past-times is to sip a warm coffee at one of the zillion Dunk’n’Donuts in the Tri-State area. That will be the first thing I will miss if I should ever leave the New York Region. I think they have them in most of the eastern states, but I know they don’t have them on the West Coast. Starbuck’s and Panera Bread are ok, but it always seems like I need to make some kind of fashion statement when I’m in one of those places. At D&D I can just be myself. Relaxing and being ourselves is a good thing.

I spend much time thinking about “meanings” behind this life. Many people believe these thoughts are pointless and that we should get on with living. This life is such a unique experience, though. Life is such a mystery, but gets filled with so much stuff that we believe the stuff is what our lives are all about. I don’t think life is about the stuff, or even the peoples involved in our lives. These are part of our lives, and I think it is essential to manage these. These are just incidental, though, and not really what our lives are about. My life is about me–another thing we are dissuaded from spending much time contemplating. I am the person I need to get up in the morning with and whom I need to go to bed with. My thoughts are with me all day feeding me instructions of how to handle the situation that confronts me, and which could greatly affect me. I am accountable for every action I take. I can choose to act wisely or foolishly, and the reaction I receive (praise or censure) are the ones I earn. So, my goal is to establish a working relationship between my thoughts and my actions. I need to be able to clearly taking in information and to process what I have learned. Then I may need to act. The mental clarity from meditation helps me to perform these acts well.

I want to write more about my views about God, but that is a big subject that covers many different areas. I want to know what I’m writing about before I post anything. Though I don’t see the Christian way as the way God interacts with us, I have a strong desire to have God a part of my life. I accept my view of God as being close to the reality only because of specific things that have happened in my life, and continue to happen. Some things just seemed to materialize in my life at the right time. Things have come into my life directly in response to a demand I had made to God. This writing has been one of them. I have affirmed (I like to avoid the term prayer these days, since I don’t believe we need to ask for anything. What we want already exists, and we can affirm that they already exist) that I wanted to engage in more writing activities, and here it is. Even if I don’t consider myself a great writer, I am at least doing it. I now see God as a great source of creation and existance which we can call upon when we are in need. As I say, I will write more about it in the future.

That is good for today. I wish much joy and peace to everyone.

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