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Random Writings

December 9, 2011

I’ve been racking my brain thinking of an effective ways to approach my blog. I want it to help bring light to a disability called ADD/ADHD. Attention Deficit Disorder is a big topic to write about involving many different people of every age group, ethnicity, and economice class. Most people, though, reading this blog probably know something about ADD/ADHD. I think the best procedure is for me to continue writing about me and my experiences. I know me most of all and all the different problems I have endured. For specific information about ADD/ADHD, I can post links to the most updated information online. This disability has been known about for as many as 100 years, though specifics about how it effects people and how to remedy it is something known only recently.

As I have written in my earlier posts, I have had issues with ADD for a long time. Even after I strongly suspected it was something I had, didn’t exactly know how to proceed. I had to find someone who could properly diagnose me and then lead me to taking the right meds, if that were the remedy. I was living in Portland, Or, at the time. I had recently moved there. Where would I find such a therapist? I naturally hunted around in the yellow pages for some answers. There was nothing under “ADD Therapists”. I only found some general information about mental health therapy. I blindly picked out a name from the phone book and made an appointment to ask him some questions. He was a young guy. He looked fresh out of medschool. I began my shpeel about how I was unhappy with my life, things weren’t going well for me, I was reading some information about ADD and I think I could be that….After going on for a time, he almost didn’t know what ADD was. He asked me specifically why I believed I was ADD. I answered I had read some books about it and some of the scenerios read like my past. I was lost in school. I didn’t pick up all I felt I should have in school. Like I missed something because I wasn’t able to retain much information…He didn’t have much to offer. He obviously couldn’t help me, he didn’t know anyone he could recommend me to,…The most he could do, was give me some testing…For what, I wasn’t quite sure. I don’t think he was very sure of what to do with me. Just do some testing with him. After that visit, I feared my quest to get some answers would be more difficult than indicated in the books.

Even though I had shared common characteristics of people who are ADD, I hadn’t been completely confidence that was what I had. I had read several times that I could show similar symptoms as someone who was ADD/ADHD, but indeed not have it. My first question to myself was what difference did it make whether I actually had it or not? I had ongoing deficiencies in remembering details. I consistently got information wrong–people would ask me for the time, but I would give them the wrong answer because I would invert the hands on my watch–thinking it was 4:15 instead of 3:20. There were other annoying habits that I exhibited. Many times, I would confuse things like time and money: a cashier would ring up charges at a checkout counter. The amount would be $4.30 and I would mistaken this for 4 and 1/2 dollars, because 4:30 is 4-1/2 hours. So, I would give the cashier a $5, expecting $.50 back, but instead she would give me $.70 back. I would think she overpaid me $.30. Another thing that I did which was annoying was the cashier would ring up a sale for $4.50. I would have a $1 bill and a $5 bill in my wallet. I would reach into my wallet to grab the $5 to give to the cashier, but infact gave the cashier the $1. Thinking that I’d given the cashier the $5, I would stand there and wait for the change, but the cashier would be standing there dumbfounded. This once episode has happened to me hundreds of times. Do these things sound like behaviors persons with ADD would exhibit? Thinking back to the number of times I would do things like this, there is no question in my mind ADD has played a role in them.

On top of these annoying behaviors I would exhibit almost daily, there were the other traits that were equally discouraging–the top of the list of my persistant inability to read a book. There are numerous books I have never been able to enjoy. There are a bunch I want to read now, but just don’t have the time. Before, I had the time, but just couldn’t read fast enough. Even after I had moderate success reading, my abilities to get through a single book with adequate comprehension were varied. It really depended on the book, my interest in the content, whether it was fiction or non-fiction, the type of print used, and the subject matter. At one time, I could really only get into non-fiction, because non-fiction I didn’t always need to start at the beginning and work straight through. With non-fiction, I could skip around, find favorite sections and absorb those and then go back to earlier parts, and spend considerable amount of time in the introductions, particularly if they were long. With fiction, I needed to start at the beginning and read chapter after chapter in order. Sometimes I would lose interest half way through and want to jump to the last chapter. This doesn’t happen as much anymore, but could still happen.

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