Life Is Good, No Matter What
Things are tough for me. I won’t lie about that. I’ve been trying to paint a positive picture at this blog by saying ADD/ADHD is only a set of symptoms that get in the way of the strive for success of some people and not necessarily the end to the life we may want. The truth is that I have been living on the edge of poverty for about the last 5 years, coming close to being homeless several times. Currently, I am living on $200 a week unemployment payments which are scheduled to keep me alive until the end of 2012. (I am reading that the great State of New York is considering reducing the number of weeks we can collect money, so it could be shorter than the end of the week. The government needs that money for their pet projects.) I don’t like being unemployed and collecting survival money. I told myself I will not beg on the streets for pocket change like I see people doing every day. I would never have believed, back in my 20s, that I would be living in this sad state I now find myself in: I live alone in a rented bedroom in the basement of a friend, I have no health insurance, no spouse, no children, no car, no career, and I have only a few friends that I know from the various churches that I trade off attending. Some people I know claim I am being too negative listing all the things I don’t have. Had I not been spiritually astute, my material deficits would be more difficult to accept. Here I am merely listing the deficits I am too familiar with—not placing a value judgment whether it is good or bad; I don’t have them. Hard to say anything else about it other than–I just don’t have them. The point is that I have chosen to remain happy and good-natured even though I lack these things. My life mirrors the story of Job in the Bible.
It was towards the end of my 20s that I managed to find God in the midst of all the chaos that entertained me during that time. I didn’t find Him or Her in the manner I had expected. I had grown up Catholic, as I had stated in previous articles at this blog. I still had considered myself a Christian, which I still consider myself to be today. I had prayed deeply over the previous decade (the 1980s)for answers to the puzzle that had no solution. The solution which literally just came to me was to learn to meditate. In fact, I was involved with a Christian young adult group where a man who taught and wrote about meditation gave a talk. After I had discovered the person who was to become my guru, suddenly I was contemplating knew ways of looking at life. These would help me to let go of the material values that many in society believe to be sacred. It was like the guru (having passed on in 1952) had been secretly watching me for some time, revealing himself to me at such a pivotal moment. It was through this path, called Self-Realization, that I had come to understand the true nature of God and specifically how he or she is able to operate within the lives of human beings. This life is an illusion. Don’t look to world possessions for the purpose of providing lasting happiness. Happiness is to be found in the spirit, which is within all of us and permeates the entire universe. Find God through meditation and we will find our lasting happiness. Finding lasting peace within ourselves, we can better witness the beauty of the world which is all around us, but we are otherwise too busy to notice. All around us is the backdrop of the natural world of the bright golden sunlight, the green trees and fields, and the beautiful blue skies. When we are outside the cool fresh air fills our lungs. Along with nature are the many birds that inhabit neighborhoods, filling the day with song. The earth is alive and well; where are we? Life goes on all around us but people don’t notice because they are consumed with their personal problems. When my life becomes overbearing and I find no way out of a situation that leads to stress, I always try to notice the nature that is around me and I can feel peaceful again. I think back to the teachings of Jesus when he showed how the birds and other animals seem to get on so well with so much less than what humans are given. The meditation I have practiced for over 20 years have taught me the same lessons—that life will continue on even if I don’t have the career I want or the king of house I would like to have.
Looking back at my day-to-day existence, I cannot say with certainty what my future holds. I am aware the economy could be headed for another recession before people start heading back to work. That only means it will be extra hard for persons in my situation to even find meager work. People are telling me to “just take anything for now”, but I’m not sure if even “anything” is available. I keep praying something will eventually come along. For now, I am forced to wait—and write. Whatever the future, I know it will be for me; otherwise I wouldn’t be taking the opportunity. Also, I will remember to be happy always.